Mike and I arrived in St. Louis a few hours behind schedule Friday, due to delays in McAllen and Dallas. We bunked at the DoubleTree and the warm chocolate chip cookies we received at check in were a lovely welcome. I wonder if their recipe is online somewhere? Mmmm.
We awoke early to get downtown for 22's graduation from Webster University. While we were looking for seats, we bumped into 17 (she was meeting 22's boyfriend so he could sit with the family). 15 and 20 walked up to say hello. (20 hugs me hello pretty consistently [which warms my heart and makes me feel welcome]).
Of course, the Ex and Grandma Sheila hadn't saved seats for us, so we hiked up to the next deck. Bagpipers played in the faculty and 105 flag bearers representing the home nations of Webster University students. The speaker was good (quoted Jon Stewart, was brief). After cheering and tassel turning, we ventured over to the theater where the College of Fine Arts had its ceremonies.
That was where things Got Interesting.
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Sidebar: Two years ago at 20's h.s. graduation, the Ex wanted her "space," demanding Mike and I stay away while she took pictures. When Mike pointed out this was the first of many family events where we would all be present/let's find a workable balance, the Ex hung up on him. After the ceremony, the Ex and her mom studiously ignored us while we took pictures and made a quick getaway once we were done.
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Given the history, I was curious to see how things would play out now--with two years of getting used to Mike's remarriage and a much smaller graduating class. Here's the skinny:
Mike staked out seats in the balcony one row behind where 17 and 20 were saving seats for their mom, grandma and 22's boyfriend. 15 opted to sit with us. Interesting to sit so close to people I've heard so much about but who have (so far) refused to meet me or even acknowledge I exist.
After the ceremony, the Ex and Sheila couldn't avoid walking past us. Sheila didn't look our way at all, but as the Ex went by, she looked at me and gave me a brief, tight smile then hastily looked away.
When we all collected downstairs for pictures a few minutes later, the Ex and her mom stood with their backs to us. Mike asked his former MIL if she wanted to be in the picture with all the kids--he'd be glad to take some for her. She didn't even turn her head, just hissed "Never mind." He was married to her daughter for 25 years and that's all the civility she can muster.
But hey, I got eye contact. Could this be the start of a less frigid relationship? I won't hold my breath. Especially since I discovered I had lipstick on my teeth during the entire exchange and wonder if that smile was really a smirk about that.
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3 comments:
As usual, your post label juxtaposed with the post itself has made me LOL. Nice. :-)
Glad you at least have a sense of humour about all the step/ex stuff. That is probably invaluable.
I did get after Mike when I discovered the misplaced lipstick. He's supposed to be my spotter! :)
I can see more humor re: the ex. The step kids, well, they're not as funny. Maybe because I still hope we'll have actual, independent relationships with each other someday.
I can laugh at some things (the girls trying to impress the non-family boys last summer at Lake Powell); wonder what she's thinking (22 wanting to mix bread dough on our DR table); get annoyed (when 17 had her first fender bender in MY car); and cry about others (when they treat Mike and their Grandma Sue badly). They're mostly indifferent to me (+/-) and oblivious the effort I expend preparing for their visits.
I guess I'll just have to wait and see how it all plays out. In the meantime, I reserve the right to laugh--both with and at the shenanigans.
Oh good lord, those silly women. Nevermind!
My parents divorced when I was 26 because my father fell in love with another woman. Dad's family pretty much hates the new wife (Raquel) because she's mean and because she broke up Dad's first marriage. They don't get together with Dad very often.
One of my Dad's sisters, Judy, kept seeing a familiar-looking woman here and there in Houston, usually at the airport. She kept thinking "I know her, I should say hello..." But unsure, she'd resist.
Finally, Judy ran into the mystery woman at a family function. She gathered her courage and gave her a very warm, welcoming hello -- hugs, etc.
Afterwards another one of my dad's sisters pulled Judy aside and said "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? That's RAQUEL!" Judy was mortified.
So hey, disappear for a while and maybe they'll forget what you look like. Then sneak into a family function and you just might get as nice a welcome!
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