One Small Step For Equality

I have a friend who works for eHarmony. I got all kinds of fun dirt on their business practices after this friend was trained--i.e. initially they wouldn't match people who drank, smoked or did drugs--things anathema to the evangelical Christian founder. (I vaguely recall something about not matching mixed race couples but my friend couldn't confirm if I remembered that correctly).

Anyhoo, eHarmony has long maintained they "can't" do same-sex matchmaking because they "don't have the research." Because gay folk couldn't possibly be looking for the same kinds of qualities, attributes, compatibilities and values that straight people consider vital to healthy relationships (yes, that's sarcasm).

eHarmony has been sued in California and New Jersey over the lack of same-sex matching. Read the WSJ blog post here. eHarmony just settled in the New Jersey case and will offer a service called Compatible Partners beginning in March 2009.

I'm sure eHarmony will cry all the way to the bank after being forced to abandon a discriminatory business plan and expand their services to include MORE CUSTOMERS worldwide.

Winning and losing gracefully

So just about everyone is celebrating some kind of win or mourning some kind of loss today.

I'm doing both: I'm ecstatic about Obama's win last night (despite falling asleep before/during his speech).

And I'm deeply disappointed about how Prop 8 went--and disturbed that one deep pocketed minority group essentially bought a new line in the California state constitution. Regardless of how people feel about gay marriage, that kind of political imperialism should disturb EVERYONE who cherishes the democratic process.

I was listening to NPR yesterday on the way in to work and commentators were discussing the matter of being a gracious winner and a gracious loser.

I am aware that there are some in my immediate family and circle of friends who feel differently on both of the above issues. (For instance, my MIL, whom I adore, expressed how scared she was about Obama winning. So how do I have a political conversation with her without being a jerk?)

My hope is that we can talk through our respective losses without the winners gloating too loudly or the losers letting bitterness or animosity take over. (Know that I say this as much to myself as to anyone else reading).