Itsy Bitsy

A high school friend posted two photos on Facebook today: one of a large black widow spider he found in his garage. The second was a photo of said spider squished dead.

The spider carnage reminded me of another spider death I witnessed nearly two decades ago, the violence of which still bothers me.

I visited a former roommate at her home in West Virginia and we spent part of the week staying with her relatives in Maryland and taking the Metro into Washington D.C. One afternoon, I was in the relatives' garden admiring the rows of hearty tomato plants when I spotted an enormous yellow and black striped garden spider poised on its web.

I've been fascinated with spiders ever since I was a kid and knew that garden spiders are harmless. They weave orbs and eat bugs--not much else. So I watched the spider for a while and looked for an insect to help into its web so I could see the spider in action.

I point out the spider to my host--Jen's elderly male relative who had come outside. He leaned over and took a good look at it. He then rooted around the garden soil for two flat stones, walked over to the spider's web, and abruptly clapped the stones together, crushing the garden spider between them.

I was HORRIFIED. I never would have pointed out the spider if I had any idea doing so would result in the spider's violent death.

Trying to control my upset at this turn of events, I stammered "Why did you do that?" The host said they have grand kids over to play in the yard and didn't want black widow spiders around.

I bit my tongue a few times before blurting out that it was NOT a black widow; it was a garden spider, one that would pose little danger to anyone. My host shrugged. Oh, well. One dead spider didn't upset the balance of his universe.

I'm still bothered by that experience all these years later. And yet I'm a hypocrite--I don't tolerate spiders in MY living space. I squish, vacuum, or wash them down the drain without much thought about their demise. (Mike's better about taking spiders outside and occasionally I will, too). But I wouldn't purposely kill a spider that was outdoors doing its own thing.