I thought being able to fit regular bras would be a good skill to acquire, given my long-range plans. So I hoofed it over to the mall and put in applications at Macy's, JCPenney, Dillard's, and Victoria's Secret.
It's been 11 years since I applied for new a job and more than 2 years since I updated my resume. Needless to say, the application process has changed.
Three out of four had on-line applications. JCPenney was the most security-conscious, obscuring the applicant's Social Security number and personal data on the computer terminals in HR. JCP asked a few questions about what type of person/worker you are--do you finish what you start, do you like talking to strangers?
At Macy's, the employment kiosk was located in Customer Service and personal information was visible to whoever walked past at the right moment. Not cool.
Dillard's only had one (unsecured) terminal in the HR office that was in use when I arrived, so I went downstairs to talk to the lingerie department's manager. (No openings now, she said). I completed the application anyway.
Dillard's application included a 95-question personality assessment. Mike used to create personality assessments for a living, so I called to ask what D's would do with the results. (I gave socially desirable answers to some questions, hoping this would compensate for my lack of retail experience).
All require background checks. The applicant is informed they'll talk with previous employers, family, neighbors, friends to inquire about your "mode of living," among other things. Dillard's was unique, including a disclaimer that they are not liable for any loss or damage to my clothing or personal property during employment.
Victoria's Secret does applications the old-fashioned way: on paper. The biggest chore was finding a place to sit down to fill it out. I was unprepared to say much about my last job before JPL. I had the name of the school district and the woman who interviewed me, but not the district's address or phone number. (My bad. Then again, that was more than 10 years ago).
So far, I haven't heard anything. I did call the newspaper and they have a more promising option. As much as I'd like to be a bra fitter, the thought of acquiring this skill set in the 2 months before Christmas kinda scares me.
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Update: JCPenney called me for an interview. They wanted me to work the floor in Men's Accessories.
I gave the interviewer a copy of my resume and indicated I was interested in acquiring a specific skill set: bra fitting in intimates and that I'd already talked with the manager over that area.
"She didn't schedule an interview?" she asked. (No. That manager told me she'd be in 8-5 Tuesday--and wasn't when I stopped by to speak with her).
Maybe the lingerie manager will get the third copy of my resume and call me. Or monkeys could fly out of my butt.
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