Now that I'm blogging, I'm also wrestling with how much disclosure to do here.
Mike wondered whether he'd have the chance to respond to things I say about him/us. A fair question. Especially since I can tell a story in a way that flatters me and not the other person.
Do I get into the running dialogue with mom over who will perform the marriage ceremony? Mom's kinda scared of computers and probably wouldn't log on herself, so how much do I say in a forum others have access to and she doesn't? And if I'm irritated enough to blog about something she said/did, will someone tell her?
Mike and I are not completely aligned on the choices for officiant. There's a short list of candidates. Primarily, I would like NOT to be lectured about this wedding not happening in a temple. Mike's worried that a Mormon person wouldn't be able to get past this and treat our wedding like the kick-up-your-heels celebration it is. For this reason, Mike's first choice is female and non-Mormon or another not Mormon person.
My preference is for a longtime Mormon friend who's totally groovy and wouldn't lecture, a bishop who's a family friend, maybe the Stake President who helped me pass basic math or my friend Chester, the retired tattoo artist/Buddhist priest.
Mom says dad would freak out if we aren't married by a Mormon person. I wonder about this. Sometimes sentiments get attributed to the men in the family that I'm not sure originate with them. Is this a filter for mom's preferences? Easiest way to find out is to ask dad.
Then there are other questions raised by this blessed event. How to deal with a guest list larger than our venue (and that my guests outnumber Mike's 5 to 1)? Whether to invite people with whom I was once close but am no longer? What to do about the friend who is no longer speaking to me after finding out Mike and I are serious? Do I dissuade a non-local person who's gung ho about attending? How to outfit the men and women of the wedding party so that everyone looks coordinated and no one is silently retching over their attire?
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4 comments:
Re: Mo officiants, the handbook says that they can only officiate where one of the parties is a member of their ward or stake (with exceptions allowed only by the First Presidency). And the location should be preferably the home of a family member or a church building, but in any case the officiant (not the happy couple) gets to pick the location.
You might find a nice Mo leader dude who is willing to fudge the second thing, but less likely on the first.
Oh, and they have to still be serving in the position that gave them marriage-performing authority, ie., no former bishops/SPs. This may affect your calculus.
Good to see you on blogger...Good luck with the wedding and the move. I'm not sure yet if I'm going to my 20th reunion this year or not. Birding in South Texas would be more fun, for sure!
About 15 years ago, a very dear friend of mine got married. She asked me and two other friends to be honorary bride's maids. She told us what her colors were and we each either made or bought attire to match. They didn't have a formal receiving line with the traditional family and friends, but rather had all of their siblings and their honorary wedding party members circulate throughout the event. I thought it was a tasteful option that allowed the wedding party to dress appropriately and left the pleasantries of a receiving line to the bride and groom and their parents exclusively. That's one thought....
For our wedding we didn't have bridesmaids/groomsmen. Everyone knew our general color scheme and dressed accordingly. Our pictures have a more informal feel than the "everyone in matching clothes in a line" look, and I'm still glad we made that choice.
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