Meeting the children

I spent the weekend in frigid St. Louis while Mike was there doing a weekend seminar. The other purpose of the visit (besides getting to spend time with my honey) was to introduce me to his four teenage children. No pressure, right?

Mike had made plans that weekend with two of the kids and let them know he'd be bringing Someone with him to a basketball game and to the symphony. I didn't want to be a surprise, thinking the kids have enough to deal with--the divorce, their dad's move to So. Texas and various other adjustments forced upon them--not to mention simply being teenagers. Unfortunately, not everyone got as much of a heads up as I would have liked. (And to preserve their privacy, I'll only refer to them by initials here).

I objected to dropping by the marital home to pick up the youngest daughter, J, to go to another daughter's (JA) basketball game because I was not prepared for the possibility of encountering the ex, D, on her home turf. Mike called J and said he wouldn't be able to pick her up, citing complications. We arrived at the gym. Mike went up to JA and talked to her for a minute. I hung back a bit, unsure whether to jump in right then or if doing so would make JA nervous before the game started. No worries there: JA's an excellent point guard--a stealthily good player that the other team consistently underestimated.

JA's team held the lead for the first half of the game, although the score was close at times. We watched the drill team perform at halftime, then watched the teams come back to finish the game. A few minutes into the 4th quarter, Mike nudged me and said "Do you see that woman across from us in the pink sweater and grey pants? That's D." And daughter J was sitting on the top bleacher a few rows up. We had NO idea how long they had been there. The day before D said she didn't want to drive out to Eureka for the game; clearly, she'd changed her mind and brought J.

Mike motioned for J to come over where we were. After a couple of minutes of coaxing, she walked over--something she would have done without coaxing had Mike been alone. Mike introduced us and then the two of them talked for a few minutes. We exchanged goodbyes/nice-to-meet-yous and then J walked back to the other side of the gym. No discernible reaction from D.

JA's team kept the competition at bay and won the game. We lingered, hoping to talk to her afterward. D and J got up and left. JA walked up to us a few minutes later and Mike made introductions. They talked and JA was very gracious to me. She had to stay until the varsity team was done playing and go back on the bus, so we couldn't give her a lift. We said our goodbyes and headed out.

Since we'd already (inadvertently) crossed paths with D, Mike and I decided to go to his son B's basketball game. Mike ran into a fellow from his former ward, so we sat with him and watched another exciting and close game. (I forgot how fun high school basketball can be). B didn't play, but encouraged his teammates after good plays and baskets. When B came out of the locker room, he went over to talk to friends before coming to find Mike in the stands. Again, Mike made introductions and we continued talking with some other adults from church before heading out.

Mike asked B if he had any plans and invited him to go out to eat with us. B opted to stop at home first. By then, the girls teams had returned and Mike extended the same invitation to JA. She said the restaurant we'd wanted to go to closed at 9 pm, so Mike called B and told him to meet us at Steak & Shake instead--and to invite J if she was at home. J declined, so it was me, Mike, B and JA breaking bread at Red Robin (a last-minute change of venue). We had some good conversation about politics, where I work, the dance both kids were going to the next night, and whether B can still put in an application at the UT school where Mike teaches.

The next night, we went to local watering hole, Blueberry Hill*, to meet Mike's oldest daughter N and her boyfriend before going to the symphony. (* = the bar where you're most likely to encounter Bob Costas and where actor John Goodman had his first legal drink). We arrived first and retreated to the side of the bar/waiting area where there seemed to be less secondhand smoke. (Why oh why do some states still allows smoking in restaurants?!)

Mike and I gave each other a quick kiss and just as we separated, I turn and there's N. Such cringe-worthy timing! She did get a heads up about me being her dad's symphony date, but I don't think she was expecting our introduction to be preceded by a PDA moment between me and her dad. She was already flustered from her day and a miscommunication with her boyfriend, now this. I don't know if she was upset by it, but I felt pretty awkward.

We devoured dinner and drove over to the symphony separately. N and R had intended to cut out at intermission, but stayed through Mozart symphonies 39 and 40, a Stravinsky piano/winds concerto, and a cacophonous modern piano concerto. Afterward, Mike and I rounded out the evening with a pint of Dove ice cream and Simpsons reruns.

In spite of the surprises, the first meeting(s) seemed to go well. By the next time I visit, I hope I'll have some feedback from the kidfolk.