I've had my current job for nearly a year. Last week, they got around to training me in a new area that means I'm now able to do my whole entire job.
While I've had little training or help from the person who's supposed to be my trainer and all-purpose question-answerer, I have nonetheless performed well. And, after years at the scanner/database/customer service end of operations, I am enjoying the more challenging work.
Until now.
Being human, I resist change and have sometimes been reluctant to adopt new technology and processes even when they are of benefit to me. (Look how long it took me to get a cell phone). Nowhere was this tendency more evident than in my behavior yesterday and this morning as I grasp at any non-urgent deskcleaning task in an effort to NOT start on the new functions I was trained on last week.
When I finally gave in to the inevitable, I found myself doing OK printing out documentation from various tools. We spent a lot of time on that in training and I'd done some of this before. Where I ran into trouble (and decided to blog about it until the holy reprieve of lunchtime) is the financial analysis part.
For each file, we're supposed to add up total costs for work performed under each contract. The older the file, the more you have to hunt for the cost data. Even for newer files, there are a half dozen sources to check--all in different tools that all look the same when minimized, giving me the urge to throttle our programmer.
I literally don't know what to do next. I have already quietly teared up and that didn't help. I asked my co-worker, also trained Friday, for help while our "trainer" was out of the office. Why not ask the trainer, you say? Because she's the same co-worker I've complained about before; she delights in others' misfortunes and I don't want to give her any ammo.
I know I am a capable, intelligent woman dealing with a new, unfamiliar task. Yet I feel like a complete idiot. I'm sitting here wondering if there's any way to move up the wedding to next week so I can quit work, get rid of this flummoxed 7th grader feeling and not have to do this new and onerous task.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
Boy, I know that feeling. It's how I've been feeling for the last couple of weeks, which started when my boss yelled at me for not writing a fund development plan. Problem is, I can't write an FDP without the boss's input and strategizing with her key staff--namely, hello, her fund development director (i.e.: ME ME ME!!!!) So, now I feel like I'm five years old again only when I was five people seemed to treat me with more respect and deference than they do now....
Hang in there.
Where's the fast-forward button on the Life Remote when you need it?
Hey, we are all definitely in this together. You have heard me describe my 15-again feelings for the past year and a half now. I SO get what you and Janet are talking about. And I know the quietly tearing up one, too - can't avoid it sometimes, but damn it's sad. IT SUCKS!! I have to say, the one 'bright side' of your situation, ME, if I may call it such, is that you are at least doing 'solitary' tasks at your desk and feeling insecure and frustrated. I mean, it could be in front of everyone or at a big meeting or something. So, the alone-ness of your tasks is some small comfort, isn't it? ISN'T IT??? You have to say yes, b/c the days when I long for the ground to open up underneath and swallow me whole, I always wish I was back at my desk trying to write emails in German (ie, another task which is frustrating and makes me feel dumb, but which is at least semi-private).
I don't care what Rodney Dangerfield joked about, we really DON'T get NO (or enough) respect! Hmph.
The bright spot in all this is my other office mate. After the "trainer" (who I now refer to as the Wolverine) left yesterday, Grace explained more about financial analysis in 10 minutes than ANYONE has in the 10 years I've worked here. And she patted my hair and said I shouldn't beat myself up for not having any experience in this area yet.
Which helped, as did a big mug of blackberry sage tea and watching a Monty Python special on PBS. From now on when I refer to the Wolverine, in my head it will be in Graham Chapman's squeaky "But I don't like Spam!" voice.
Post a Comment