Top 10 relatively harmless ways not to get invited back to babysit:
1. Teach kids vulgar new vocabulary words.
2. Magic Marker black eyes for everyone!
3. Use Bedazzler as ear piercing tool.
4. Leave copy of "Two Moon Junction" in VCR.
5. Play Tattoo Shop with Sharpies.
6. Shave everyone's head.
7. Feed kids all sugar on premises.
8. Promise to come back in an hour with their free puppy.
9. Put all CDs or DVDs (whichever they have more of) in the wrong cases. Oops!
10. Say to parents, "If my parole officer asks, I was here doing yardwork."
There were a couple of hiccups during the day. The older kid refused to eat his breakfast eggs. The younger kid tipped over and bonked his head while I was supervising the older one's post-toilet handwashing. Thankfully, he recovered quickly and without a telltale lump (though I guess neglect would be another way out).
The mom needed a sitter so she could do some cleaning work for her husband's construction business. It was satisfying to know she wasn't out having oodles of fun while I wiped up poo and wondered why they don't get regular TV. But I'm still not happy about subsidizing their family business with my free labor.
On the plus side, I picked up another side job--editing a dissertation on the Civil War written by a guy in the ward. His wife brought the first five chapters to tonight's book group (the only person to show up) and said specifically they weren't looking for a "Mormon discount" on the editing job but did want to keep an eye on the costs. I said I'd do a quick proofread of his first draft and save the fine-tooth combing for after his committee is done with it.
And tomorrow morning, I meet with the editor about my online column. Yay!
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7 comments:
Heh, heh, he. I think I'd let you babysit my kids just for the thrill of coming home and finding all of them bald! (And that's probably why I don't have kids!)
I could shave the cats...
You know, I keep threatening to shave Pogo just to cut back on the shedding. Cat hair. The bane of my existence.
Well. At least the dissertater's wife acknowledges the mormon discount. ;-)
I accidentally taught Jasper a naughty word, and Adriana didn't even leave me alone with him. Sigh.
I don't babysit. Especially not alone. I would definitely need Scott there for moral and physical support. And to do anything associated with the smelly end...or the eating end.
You know, it's an option for me to take my crankiness away and NOT comment on blogs. Wonder why I don't do that?
Because what fun would that be?
By the way, he's fogotten all about that p-word. We let him watch Life Aquatic 300 times and he picked up "don't be such a f---ing baby" instead.
That's the movie I should leave in the VCR next time!
Only there's not going to be a next time. Moohoo Hahahaha!
I'm just cracking up right now because Scott has also watched The Life Aquatic about 300 times too. And that line makes me laugh - I'm glad Jasper picked it up. :-) Am I bad? (And has he forgotten about 'big swiss syndicate' yet? LOL. Btw, after you left, we learned that, essentially, syndicate here means something like labor union...so it wasn't even scandalous. Sigh. We shoulda cut to the chase and taught him to yell out 'big swiss white collar mafia' instead.)
Is he bugging you for a red toque and blue speedos yet?
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