The ex has had a Reaction. It was not a positive reaction, nor was it pleasant for Mike to be on the receiving end of it. I'm actually much more comfortable with an angry, negative reaction than no reaction at all.
Mike and I are both in St. Louis for the weekend and he was trying to arrange a get-together with us and the kids now that they're aware of our plans. The two youngest girls were available Saturday night, so he made arrangements to pick them up. Then he asked J to pass the phone to her mom for a minute.
Mike told D that we'd be picking up the girls at 7:00 pm. He mentioned that I was in town and thought it would be a good idea for us to meet each other since we'd all be working together where the kids are involved. (He'd also sent D an email earlier in the week to try to arrange such a meeting and she had not responded).
I have no interest in "that," D snapped. (I didn't even merit a pronoun).
D then blasted Mike for being incredibly self-centered for springing this (his remarriage) on the kids "so soon" after the divorce. He's selfish for forcing it on the kids without any consideration for the impact it has on them.
"You sound pretty upset about this," Mike says. (This tactic is right out of his leadership seminar: invite the person to vent any interfering emotions in order to work constructively toward a solution).
D says, "Yeah, no kidding" and hangs up on him.
It's strange to me that D would be so hostile about the impact Mike's actions supposedly have on the kids. She's the one who filed for divorce. She had the papers served to him at work while they were living under the same roof and didn't breathe a word about it. Didn't that K.O. family life as they knew it?
We picked up the girls as scheduled and headed to the mall for some gift shopping and dinner at Panda Express. The girls rough housed during dinner and alternately laughed at or were embarrassed by their dad's antics and goofy jokes--typical teenagers.
The girls don't seem to share their mother's hostility or negative opinion of me or their father for bringing me into their lives. I know it's a lot for the kids to adjust to, but the fact that they are friendly, polite, and willing to socialize with us voluntarily makes it seem like we've started off on the right foot.
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3 comments:
Hmmm, sounds to me like D is the one who's not ready for Mike to move on. Even if she's the one who ended it first she probably doesn't feel like he deserves to find love again so soon. Just my hunch.
But I'm glad the dinner with the girls went well!
I'm with you, ME. I'd rather have a negative reaction than no reaction at all. D is for disturbed, very disturbed.
I'm glad things are going as well with the kids as they are. I'm just hoping they trust their own experiences with me--without their mother's anger/attitude interfering.
I'll proceed expecting D to be difficult and expecting that I will need to be that much more proactive when it comes to building healthy relationships with the kids.
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