Hell Maintenance Organization.
Not just because of the endless red tape, approval processes and hoops patients have to jump through--though I would argue these rank among the most common frustrations. Based on my recent experience with my HMO, I'm convinced there's more to the "hell" part than meets the eye.
I believe that Satan, Beelzebub, Old Nick, Lucifer, Lord Voldemort--whatever you want to call him-- has his hands full. Notwithstanding the leg up he's getting from George W, Satan needs help spreading hopelessness, misery and despair.
That's where HMOs come in. Evil predates their existence, of course, but don't they do a bang-up job of sapping all that is good and holy out of you? After you've been trapped in their automated phone systems, dealt with unhelpful personnel and ego-tripping physicians, been denied coverage, treatment, a second opinion, or even someone who will LISTEN and after 40 minutes you're still on hold to make an appointment, where are you? You're in HELL! Lucifer is the COO/CEO and all the HMOs are supporting his mission statement! They're all branches of the Devil's Home Office.
This rant brought to you in part by my current battles with Facey Medical Group and a physician who's channeling Saruman.
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